Friends with Benefits/Undercover Lovers

Guys what do you think?
Do you think it's okay to be sneaking around with a friend? Making love in the dark and then back to friends in the morning?
I am confused!
Apart of me wants the world to know that yes he and I are together and another part of me wonders what the hell am I doing?!!
This is crazy! What are we friends with benefits or undercover lovers?
Neither of them appeal to me much.

Is it okay to be friends with benefits???

i think you are just friends with benefits. I do see a problem with having friends with benefits as I would not want to find out that someone I love has a friend that sexes her on different occasions. I think it would be ok if you are both single and have no problem with it.

I personally dont like the whole friends with benefits thing. I think if you love me it should be cool for you to tell anyone BUT...people become "friends with benefits" for reasons and i am will to accept that depending on the scenario. If for instance sometimes friends arn't accepting of a relationship like that for whatever reason and in a effort to not force your friends to feel alienated you'll keep it on the low till the right time...

the problem with this is when friends find out though not so conventional methods. You tell one person and it becomes a "scandal" when they flip out and everyone starts talking...i know from first hand knowledge...

If you truly like this person and you think this is the only way it'll work then go ahead and make yourself happy.

Friends with benefits can only work if you can completely detach your emotions from whatever it is that you're doing. Which I think is impossible. Eventually one of you is going to fall for the other and if the feelings aren't returned then someone is gonna get hurt. I wouldn't advise you to continue this secret lovers thing. Either you come out with it or end it.

i guess it all depends on where you looking at it from or your reason for hiding. My advice is to meet with him (dont screw him) and talk abou the hole thing.

Beezle wrote:

Friends with benefits can only work if you can completely detach your emotions from whatever it is that you're doing. Which I think is impossible. Eventually one of you is going to fall for the other and if the feelings aren't returned then someone is gonna get hurt. I wouldn't advise you to continue this secret lovers thing. Either you come out with it or end it.

I agree with everythign you just said. Only things i'd change is that i dont think its impossible not to care and i think that she needs to talk to her "undercover lover" before doing anything else.

I concede, it is possible for there to be no feelings involved. It is impossible though for the both of them to not care. At least one of them is gonna start liking the other and that is the beginning of the problem. Of course she'd have to talk it over with her "friend", that's a given.

Beezle wrote:

I concede, it is possible for there to be no feelings involved. It is impossible though for the both of them to not care. At least one of them is gonna start liking the other and that is the beginning of the problem. Of course she'd have to talk it over with her "friend", that's a given.

words of wisdom

Snake Widow wrote:

the problem with this is when friends find out though not so conventional methods. You tell one person and it becomes a "scandal" when they flip out and everyone starts talking...i know from first hand knowledge...

If you truly like this person and you think this is the only way it'll work then go ahead and make yourself happy.

I like this port and agree with it

THE only way you can know IF you are friends with benefits is if there are no strings attach you just see each other and help out friends UNDERCOVER LOVERS - you two gotta say that you share the same feeling for each other a feeling of LOVE its just like being with a GIRL/GUY in pubic its just that ppl don't know about it "UNDERCOVER LOVERS GET JEALOUS LIKE REGULAR COUPLE/FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS JUST DO THEM THING AND CUT SO YOU DECIDE WAT ARE YOU?????????????????????

Kammy wrote:

I like this part and agree with it

LOL Thanks kammy

So Angel what do you plan on doing?

Snake Widow wrote:

BUT...people become "friends with benefits" for reasons and i am will to accept that depending on the scenario.

Reasons? Scenarios? The only reason/scenario I can think of is one of them (or both even) is already in a relationship so you can't really tell anyone that, you know, you're also fucking your friend.

Snake Widow wrote:

If for instance sometimes friends aren't accepting of a relationship like that for whatever reason and in a effort to not force your friends to feel alienated you'll keep it on the low till the right time...

till the right time...therefore it's not much of a problem. If you're friends wouldn't be accepting of the relationship then:
- They have good reason OR
- They're not good friends OR
- It'll take some time for them to warm up to the idea.

Pick and choose whichever but being fuck buddies doesn't help the situation.

Snake Widow wrote:

the problem with this is when friends find out though not so conventional methods. You tell one person and it becomes a "scandal" when they flip out and everyone starts talking...i know from first hand knowledge...

If you truly like this person and you think this is the only way it'll work then go ahead and make yourself happy.

Keep it a secret, people find out, it becomes a problem.
Keep it a secret, no one finds out, you start questioning what you're really doing and it becomes a problem to you.

There are other ways to make yourself happy. Don't ruin a friendship over lust.

Sweet! I have my own little support system and advice group.
Thanks guys.
Not sure yet...
1. I really like him.
2. I'm confussed as hell
3. My hormones are raging
4. I long to belong to someone even if it a secret.

dont worry it will all work it self out just becarefull

I worry Kammy I really do

Why can't you guys just be in an "official" relationship?

Who say men don't?! They just have one on the side

that's why we done cry when a relationship end we always have somebody on the side.

Papouch wrote:

Who say men don't?! They just have one on the side

I didn't mean guys in general, I meant Angel and her undercover lover. Guilty conscience?

Beezle wrote:

I didn't mean guys in general, I meant Angel and her undercover lover. Guilty conscience?

I have no guilty conscience.

my advice to:
sit down with the person and really let them know how you have been feeling. It will be hard, but thats what u have to do if u really care for the person and u want to be official.

If the guy have another mate..... then....ummm.....
Still let him know that u wish to be the one and only.

hopefully things will work out for, I wish u good luck.

question
how do you become a friend with benefits?

fuck him when the lights are off and then say fuck him when they're back on.

Indefferent wrote:

question
how do you become a friend with benefits?

Have sexual relations with a friend...on the low.

but beezle isnt that being an undercover lover?