When girls don't put out!!
This
was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart.
Girls -- Please have a
sense of humor!
I never quite figured out why the
sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the
whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their
head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last
week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to
heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold
me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that
every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch
with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs
as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just
love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing
that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very
next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out
to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I
walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive
outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy
them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets
get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewelry department where
she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so
excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to
think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't even know how to play tennis
I think I threw her for a loop when
I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from
all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I
think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly
contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her
face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who
I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex
tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
Sat Oct 25, 2008 2:40 am
