A business man was getting ready to go on a long
business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious
sort with an extremely healthy sex drive, so he
thought he'd buy her a little something to keep her
occupied while he was gone. He went to a store that
sold sex toys and started looking around. He was
browsing through the dildos, looking for something
special to please his wife, and started talking to the
old man behind the counter. He explained his
situation.
The old man said, 'Well, We have vibrating dildos,
special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of
anything that will keep her occupied except---' and he
stopped.
'Except what?' the man asked.
'Nothing, nothing.'
'C'mon, tell me! I need something!'
'Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there
is The Voodoo Penis.'
'So what's up with this Voodoo Penis?' he asked.
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled
out a very old wooden box, carved with strange
symbols and erotic images. He opened it, and there
lay an ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman
laughed, and said 'Big damn deal. It looks like every
other dildo in this shop!'
the old man replied, 'But you haven't seen what it'll
do yet.' He pointed to a door and said, 'Voodoo
Penis,
the door.'
The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out of its box,
darted over to the door, and started pounding the
keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with the
vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form down
the middle.
Before the door split, the old man said 'Voodoo
Penis, return to box!'
The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box
and lay there quiet once more.
'I'll take it!' said the ! businessman.
The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a
special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do
was say 'Voodoo Penis, my crotch.'
After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was
unbearably horny and remembered the Voodoo Penis....
She undressed, opened the box and said, 'Voodoo Penis,
my crotch!' The Voodoo Penis shot to her crotch and
started pumping.
It was
absolutely incredible, like nothing she'd ever
experienced before. After three mind-shattering
orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd
had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck
in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it
out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgotten to
tell her how to shut it off.
Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if
they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the
car and started to
drive, quivering with every thrust of the dildo.
On
the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her
swerve all over the road.
A police officer saw this and immediately pulled
herover. He asked for her license, and then asked how
much she'd had to drink.
Gasping and twitching, she explained, 'I haven't had
anything to drink, officer. You see, I've got this
Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won't
stop screwing me!'
The officer looked at her for a second, shook
his
head and in an arrogant voice replied, 'Yeah, right...
Voodoo Penis, my ass.'
The rest is history
Live life to the fullest, we have only one life to live.
Tue Jun 03, 2008 12:53 pm
